Graduation Is Horrifying and I Want to Cry, But…

Jill Taylor – Indy President


As a second semester senior graduating in May, I’m constantly in a state of worry about my future, and even some aspects about my past. Did I pick the right major? The right school? It’s enough to make the average person barf on the quad on their walk to a science class they put off until their final months before graduation.


I’m the ultimate procrastinator. I waited until my last semester of my last year of college to take two science gen eds, I crammed in an internship for this semester even though I already have a part time job on top of classes and being the president of an RSO, I still haven’t lined up a job for after graduation, and I’m writing this article instead of finishing the two hour chem lab I have due at midnight. I’m a clusterfuck of anxiety and somehow people expect me to like, do adult things? Like file my taxes and set up a savings account? What the fuck??? Being 21 is amazingly terrible for one reason, on top of all the stresses it brings, I’m old enough to go to a bar and drink until I actually forget the deadline to get a cap and gown.


Drinking, while a pretty big upside, isn’t the only good thing about being in my early twenties about to graduate college though. I promise I won’t get too cheesy with this paragraph either so hold your barf. When I talk to my friends and classmates about what they’re doing it starts to make sense, literally none of us know what the fuck we’re supposed to be right now. We’re just trying to figure it out by applying to as many dumb jobs as possible, finishing ridiculous homework right before the midnight deadline while we chug beers, and waking up in the morning to do the same thing all over again with the dread of graduation looming over each and every one of us. We’re all a mess, but it’s okay, because every real world adult I’ve talked to has said basically the same thing: they don’t know shit either.


That’s the big secret. The key to feeling like less of a failure every fucking day. Your parents, their parents, all their friends, every adult you’ve ever met doesn’t know a damn thing. They’re actually just making it up as they go along too. And your first job? It will last on average 3 years until you find a new one that will also last around that time, and you’ll keep jumping until you find a job that’s least likely to make you want to shoot yourself. It sounds cliché and untrue, because we see all these grownups in their tailored suits with briefcases looking important, but that person is still thinking “What the fuck am I even doing right now?” and they’ll be thinking that their whole lives.


So basically, just get through these final months of school with the knowledge that everything you’re doing is exactly what you should be doing. Feeling lost and nervous is normal, and you’ll eventually figure it out enough to trick the next batch of college students. You’re going to be great so quit freaking out, at least that’s what I’m going to be telling myself on the way to my next chem exam.


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